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Good morning, Crowd!
You know that friend who's always broke but somehow offers to buy dinner for the whole table?
That's GameStop right now.
Ryan Cohen, the guy who turned GameStop into a meme stock, loaded it with Bitcoin, and convinced the internet he's a genius, just offered $56 billion to buy eBay. GameStop is worth $12 billion. The math isn't mathing, but Cohen's going for it anyway with $20 billion in "highly confident" debt from TD Bank and a pitch deck that promises "$2 billion in annual savings" if eBay just lets him cook.
Meanwhile, PayPal's CEO went on an earnings call and basically said "oops, we forgot AI existed" before announcing they're firing 20% of their workforce to catch up. Jamie Foxx and Eva Longoria apparently woke up one day and decided to become AI voice investors. And Palantir posted earnings so good the stock immediately tanked 8%.
Welcome to Thursday, where nothing makes sense, and the valuations are made up. Let's get into it. ☕
Alberto, Jose, and the Founderscrowd team
Your Thursday rundown:
GameStop offers $56B for eBay (has $12B market cap, "trust me bro" financing)
PayPal's AI turnaround (cutting 4,500+ jobs, admitting they're behind on AI)
Jamie Foxx + Eva Longoria invest in ElevenLabs (celebrities become AI VCs)
Palantir stock drops 8% (despite beating earnings—because Wall Street)
The pattern: Desperation moves disguised as innovation
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Hey there, Alberto here.
Every Sunday I break down the biggest moves in tech and startups—the M&A that reshapes markets, the policy changes that affect talent, and the pivots that create new opportunities.
This week had major consolidation (Nvidia-Groq), escalating trade tensions, and infrastructure companies finding new markets.
Let's dive in.
🎮 GAMESTOP OFFERS $56B FOR EBAY (WITH $12B AND A DREAM)
Founderscrowd: Let me paint you a picture. You're worth $12 billion. Your company sells video games in strip malls. You decide to offer $56 billion—in cash and stock you don't have—to buy eBay, a company worth $46 billion that's been around since 1995 and doesn't need your help.
This is not a joke. This is Ryan Cohen's actual plan.
The "deal":
Offer: $125/share for eBay ($56B total)
Structure: 50% cash, 50% GameStop stock
Financing: $20B "highly confident letter" from TD Bank + $9B in GameStop's Bitcoin stash
Problem: That adds up to $29B. The offer is $56B. You do the math.
Cohen's pitch: GameStop stores become "authentication centers" for eBay collectibles. eBay gets "live commerce" (shopping via livestream, because that worked so well for everyone else). Combined company becomes "a legit competitor to Amazon."
eBay's response: "We'll... review it." Translation: "lol no but we'll let you down gently."
Why this is insane:
The math doesn't work. Even if TD Bank gives them $20B (doubtful) and GameStop empties its Bitcoin wallet ($9B), that's $29B. They need $56B. Where's the other $27B? "Trust me bro."
GameStop stores are... dying. There are 1,600 GameStop locations left. They're in strip malls next to Sbarro. How are those going to become eBay authentication centers when nobody goes to GameStop anymore?
eBay doesn't need saving. eBay's doing fine. Revenue is up. They added 1M active buyers last year. They don't need a meme stock retailer to "fix" them.
Cohen's track record is... mixed. He turned Chewy into a $3.35B exit (legit). He loaded GameStop with Bitcoin at the top (jury's out). He convinced Reddit he's a 5D chess master (meme confirmed).
Wall Street's reaction: GameStop stock dropped 10% Monday. eBay stock rose 4% (because LOL). Analysts called it "audacious" (polite for "delusional").
Bottom line: This is what happens when a meme stock CEO believes his own hype. Cohen thinks he's building "something worth hundreds of billions" by combining a dying video game retailer with a perfectly functional auction site. Wall Street thinks he's trying to use other people's money to buy relevance. I think this deal has a 0% chance of happening, but the pitch deck alone is worth the price of admission.
💳 PAYPAL ADMITS IT FORGOT AI WAS A THING (FIRING 4,500 PEOPLE TO CATCH UP)
Founderscrowd: PayPal's CEO went on an earnings call this week and said the quiet part out loud: PayPal forgot to become an AI company while everyone else was doing it.
"We need to become a technology company again," said CEO Enrique Lores. Translation: "We stopped being a tech company at some point and just realized it."
What PayPal admitted:
They haven't been using AI to help developers code (while Spotify's devs haven't written code since December)
They haven't adopted AI in customer service, support, or risk management (basic stuff)
They're "just now" forming an "AI transformation team" (in May 2026)
They're down 80% from their 2021 peak because they've been asleep
The "turnaround" plan:
Cut 20% of workforce over 2-3 years (4,500+ jobs)
Use AI to replace those people (customer service, coding, operations)
Save $1.5B in costs over 3 years
"Become a technology company again" (whatever that means)
Why this is embarrassing:
Spotify's top developers literally haven't written a line of code since December 2025 because AI does it for them. PayPal is forming a committee in May 2026 to figure out if maybe they should try AI.
It's like showing up to a party at 2 AM, realizing everyone's already drunk, and announcing "I'M GOING TO START DRINKING NOW."
The brutal truth: PayPal beat earnings ($8.4B revenue, up 7%) but stock tanked on weak Q2 guidance. The company is down 80% from peak. They're separating Venmo into its own business (probably to sell it). And when asked if Venmo's for sale, the CEO said "my number one priority is maximizing shareholder value" (CEO-speak for "yes, if the price is right").
Bottom line: PayPal spent 5 years watching AI eat the world and did nothing. Now they're firing 4,500 people to pay for catching up. This is what corporate denial looks like. When your CEO has to announce you're "becoming a technology company again," you stopped being one a long time ago.
🎤 JAMIE FOXX AND EVA LONGORIA ARE AI INVESTORS NOW (BECAUSE WHY NOT)
Founderscrowd: ElevenLabs — the AI voice cloning company that lets you make Morgan Freeman read your grocery list — just raised a new round from BlackRock, Jamie Foxx, Eva Longoria, and a bunch of other celebrities who probably don't know how transformers work but definitely know a good investment when their wealth manager shows them the pitch deck.
The round:
Investors: BlackRock, Jamie Foxx, Eva Longoria, + existing backers
Valuation: Undisclosed (last round: $1.1B in January 2025)
What ElevenLabs does: AI voice cloning, text-to-speech, dubbing
Why celebrities are piling in:
Voice cloning protects their IP. If you're Jamie Foxx, you don't want some startup cloning your voice without permission. Better to invest in the company that's going to do it anyway and get equity + control.
Dubbing is huge money. Hollywood spends billions dubbing movies/shows for international markets. ElevenLabs can do it in 32 languages instantly. That's real business.
Everyone's a VC now. Celebrities figured out that writing checks for 0.1% of a $1B startup is better ROI than another movie franchise.
Why this matters:
AI voice tech is moving from "cool demo" to "actual revenue." ElevenLabs is working with publishers, creators, and now Hollywood. When A-list actors start investing, it's because they see their industry getting disrupted and want to be on the winning side.
For investors: Celebrity money used to be dumb money (see: every celebrity restaurant, clothing line, tequila brand). Now it's smart money with strategic value (distribution, IP rights, industry access). Jamie Foxx investing in ElevenLabs isn't a vanity play. It's a defensive moat for his voice IP.
Bottom line: AI voice cloning went from "parlor trick" to "threatens Hollywood's entire dubbing industry" in 18 months. Celebrities are investing because they'd rather own the disruption than fight it.
💎 WHAT PREMIUM MEMBERS ARE READING THIS WEEK
Friday's Premium deal memo:
A Series D enterprise software company doing $180M ARR, 85% gross margins, preparing for 2027 IPO. Already profitable (rare). Raising final private round at $2.8B pre-money. Minimum investment: $100K. Existing investors: Andreessen Horowitz, Sequoia, Salesforce Ventures.
Why it matters: This is one of the last "sleep well at night" enterprise SaaS deals before IPO. Profitable, growing 60% YoY, customers include 40% of Fortune 500. When enterprise software IPOs come back (they will), this exits at $5B+.
This week, Premium members also got:
Fintech Series C ($85M ARR, bank regulators approved, FDIC chair on board)
Defense tech Pentagon contracts ($120M ARR, can't IPO due to security clearances)
Cybersecurity late-stage ($28M ARR, 95% margins, protecting AI companies)
Next week:
A biotech company with FDA breakthrough designation. Phase 2 trials showing 73% efficacy. Raising Series C before Phase 3. High-risk, high-reward. If Phase 3 works, this is a 10x. If it fails, it's zero.
$40/month. Lock in before price increases to $100/month in May.
📉 PALANTIR CRUSHED EARNINGS. STOCK DROPPED 8%. CLASSIC WALL STREET.
Founderscrowd: Palantir reported Q1 earnings Monday. Revenue up 24%. Profit margins expanding. Government contracts growing. Commercial business accelerating. Stock price response: -8%.
This is the most Wall Street thing ever.
The earnings (objectively good):
Revenue: Up 24% YoY
Government revenue: Up 40%
Commercial revenue: Up 28%
Operating margin: 38% (insane for a software company)
Guidance: Raised for full year
Why the stock dropped anyway:
Valuation was insane. Palantir was trading at 35x revenue before earnings. Even after the drop, it's still at 28x. For context, most software companies trade at 5-8x revenue.
Profit-taking. Stock was up 300%+ over the past year. Earnings = excuse to sell and lock in gains.
Guidance wasn't "beat by enough." Wall Street wanted Palantir to raise guidance by MORE than they did. Raising it at all wasn't enough. This is how dumb the game is.
Why this matters (and why it's stupid):
Palantir is one of the only software companies that's (a) profitable, (b) growing fast, (c) has durable government contracts, and (d) isn't getting commoditized by AI. The stock dropping on great earnings is noise, not signal.
For investors: If you're in private markets, ignore this. Public market traders are playing a different game (momentum, multiples, technicals). Private market investors care about fundamentals: Is Palantir growing? Yes. Is it profitable? Yes. Are government contracts sticky? Yes. Everything else is distraction.
Bottom line: Palantir is doing great. Wall Street sold anyway because the stock ran too hot. If you're a long-term investor, you ignore this. If you're a day trader, you probably lost money.
🎭 THE BIG PICTURE: DESPERATION MOVES DISGUISED AS INNOVATION
Let me connect these stories for you because there's a pattern here that matters.
GameStop offering $56B for eBay: This is desperation masked as vision. Ryan Cohen knows GameStop is dying. The meme stock magic is fading. Bitcoin saved them temporarily. But strip mall video game stores have no future. So he's swinging for the fences with a deal that can't happen, hoping the narrative alone keeps the stock alive.
PayPal's AI turnaround: This is corporate FOMO disguised as strategy. PayPal watched AI eat their lunch for 3 years and did nothing. Now they're firing 4,500 people and announcing an "AI transformation" to catch up. It's not innovation. It's panic.
Celebrities investing in AI: This one's actually smart. Jamie Foxx and Eva Longoria see their voices getting cloned. They could fight it (lose) or invest in it (win). They chose win. That's not desperation. That's positioning.
Palantir's stock drop: This is Wall Street being Wall Street. Great earnings, stock drops because it "didn't beat by enough." Ignore this unless you're a trader.
The lesson: When companies announce audacious plans out of nowhere (GameStop/eBay), or admit they're way behind and pivoting fast (PayPal/AI), or suddenly everyone's investing in the same thing (celebrities/voice AI), ask yourself: Is this innovation or is this desperation?
Most of the time, it's desperation with a good PowerPoint.Favorable regulation (governments want domestic AI infrastructure)
🎯 WHAT I'M WATCHING
GameStop/eBay saga:
Does eBay even respond formally or just ghost Ryan Cohen?
Does TD Bank actually commit the $20B or was the "highly confident letter" just vibes?
How long until Cohen pivots to the next audacious plan?
PayPal's AI pivot:
Do they actually catch up or is this another corporate buzzword bingo?
Does Venmo get sold separately (and if so, to whom)?
Can you really fire 20% of your workforce and become "a technology company again"?
Celebrity AI investments:
Do more A-listers pile into ElevenLabs or other voice/video AI companies?
Does Hollywood start requiring AI clauses in actor contracts (voice/likeness rights)?
When does the first AI-generated blockbuster come out with 100% synthetic actors?
Palantir's momentum:
Does the stock bounce back or is this the beginning of a correction?
Do government contracts keep growing 40% YoY?
When do other enterprise software companies hit similar margins (38% operating)?
See you Saturday for this week's confirmed raises. Until then, stay skeptical. ☕
Alberto, Jose, and the Founderscrowd team
Founderscrowd
P.S. If you're wondering whether Ryan Cohen's eBay bid is 5D chess or just desperation with a Bloomberg terminal—join Premium. This week's analysis breaks down the actual math, the debt structure, and why this deal has a 0.001% chance of closing. Spoiler: It's performance art, not M&A.
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